Problems

The miners involved in the recent Compostela valley landslide were interviewed after the incident and in this they expressed their intention of returning to their work as soon as their body permits it. It was not courage on their faces, in fact, fear and trauma still lingered in their eyes. And yet, there they were on national television, discreetly protesting against the government’s initiative of closing down the mines to avoid anymore mishaps. It was not courage on their faces. It was desperation.

And here I am sitting comfortably on the couch in my own home, complaining about all the problems I have in life. It’s only Monday and I’m already thinking about what I’d do over the weekend, how I could escape the problems and conflicts living with us here in the house and how I can settle the demons down within me and “get away from it all.” I have always wondered how I got myself into the problems that I have now. I have always wanted to just run away from it all. I want to just sit back and relax, enjoy life while I’m still young. I don’t want any responsibilities yet. I want to go out, have some fun and not care what time I have to wake up tomorrow or if I have enough money for food and things like that.

These past few weeks, CDO was all over the news. I didn’t follow the entire story but from what I know, there was a flash flood that wiped out an entire town. I heard how a lot of people died, how a lot more are missing and how a lot more are homeless. A picture circulated around social networking sites that showed a grown man carrying a lifeless kid on his arms. Tears streaming down his face and he was just a picture of sadness and grief. I couldn’t take the picture, it was too sad for me. And so, I hid it from my newsfeed.

I realized how the people that survived got the bad part of the deal. They would have to suffer every waking moment of their traumatic experience and the fact that things would never be the same for them from here on end. I admired those people that had the strength to say that the show must go on for them. But as I looked into the eyes of these people, I realized that it is not courage that fuels their passion. I cannot tell for sure but I believe that what gets them going is the fact that they have to move on if they don’t want to just die with all the things running inside their heads, all the nightmares they’d have about their experience. They realize that if they don’t adapt, they won’t survive.

And here I am still waiting for a brilliant idea for this weekend. I have my own share of problems, heck I even want to run away from my own house if only I had the means to live by myself. I have always contemplated about the problems my family is facing and I have always come to the conclusion that I am sick and tired of all of it. I just can’t wait for graduation when I get my own money and I’d have the chance to save up and leave this draining place.

I know the world has problems and I’m pretty sure that my ranting and complaining is insignificant to a person who barely survived the collapse of the place he was mining or to a person who lost his entire family in the flood but like these people I couldn’t help but wish for a better life. We all have problems. Somehow we all are stuck in some kind of rut that we’re trying to get out of. I feel pretty guilty that I rant and complain about my life when it’s surely not as bad as the lives of other people. I honestly don’t know how I can change the lives of others when I’m already having a hard enough time changing my own. These people and I have one thing in common though, it surely is not courage that keeps me moving forward but despair and the desire to find an escape from my problems

Ignorance

White. Society would usually interpret this color as synonymous to purity, without stain, without fault or one who is innocent, one who is good in nature. People possessing these traits are considered rare ever since the beginning of time for we humans are concupiscent in nature and our constantly changing times force us to be more vulnerable to answer the ever enticing call to sin. We understand innocent people as people who are less vulnerable to committing mistakes that will tarnish their consciences, or simply, people who are inexperienced when it comes to doing bad things. People of innocence are often considered as people of harmless intent, people that are of no threat whatsoever. Innocence is the state of not being guilty of anything, the freedom from evil or from wrongdoings. Individuals possessing this trait are put on a pedestal, their distinct characteristic being a luxury only very precious few can afford.

Like children they are playful, encouraged by their basic understanding of things. The moral values that their parents worked hard develop protect them from the harsh reality that they live in. They answer questions based on their still sound consciences. They are carefree and without worries, enjoying life as if it was just a stroll in the park, taking it in as if it were the sweetest candy they would ever have.  They are prone to and totally unaware of the infinite dangers lurking at every corner, surrounding them almost entirely.

Like flocks of sheep, they follow obediently where their shepherd takes them, asking little or no questions at all. They surrender their well-being to the hands that feed them, protect and guide them. They feel safe, satisfied and comfortable in their unpredictable environment. They trust more easily being less suspicious of people or circumstances that would already pose as dire threats when seen by trained eyes.

It is understandable why the society looks at such people with much admiration, why their status is considered as good as having gold for it is very easy for people to lose their status of innocence. No number of deeds no matter how great they may be will be enough to buy back one’s lost innocence. It is a definite truth that once innocence is lost, it will remain lost. But being in the rebellious and questioning stage that I am in right now, I cannot help but argue against the reasoning behind this old time belief that most people have. I have seen numerous examples of how possessing this trait may prove to be very fatal to one’s well-being, doing more harm than good. I simply cannot accept the fact that innocence, in its entirety, is given such a high value.

Like children they are fragile, depending too much on other people. They are still in the long process of figuring out how things work in the world they are born in. They rely on their parent figures, those that take time to care for them. They know little of their environment, the factors and variables that are present around them that may have indirect or direct effects on their well-being. They are, to some extent, apathetic. People would often find their cluelessness cute and adorable. They are dependent on their possessed instinct that there would always be people around them that will look out for their safety and well being. In the absence of the people they depend on they are left clueless. They may not be stupid but they are highly inexperienced putting them at a grave disadvantage. Without people spoon feeding them of the essential information they need to live well in a crowd, they will standout like sore thumbs, not capable of defending themselves against the rest of the world. They are playful, prone to several common possibilities such as getting injured, getting lost. Their treasured moral values and sound consciences doing nothing to help them and the best they can do when faced with these circumstances is cry and wait for someone to help them out of their predicament. They have eyes that do not comprehend as well as they see for they lack worldly experience to perceive things for what they really are.

Like a flock of sheep, they are in constant need of guiding and protecting. They follow obediently without question to wherever, if they’re lucky, they will only be stripped of their precious fleece with or without their consent but if they’re not so lucky they are killed for their meat, the shepherd guiding them straight into either the shepherd’s pocket or the shepherd’s mouth. But without their shepherd, they will be eaten up by the abyss of unfamiliarity. Not to mention being very prone to the ever present wolves that are abundant nowadays and are very much ready to take advantage and kill.

I bid the readers of my thoughts and opinion not to judge me so quickly, instead, I ask the readers to first try to understand. I am not condemning people of innocence, nor am I saying that it’s better to become sinners. I come from a Catholic school that does not fall anywhere short of instilling good moral values and molding its students into God-fearing people. But not everything can be learned in the confines of the comfort zones that some of us so conveniently and comfortably reside in. Also, these comfort zones cannot possibly protect us from every obstacle, every circumstance that life throws at us. We cannot escape the fact that life is hard, challenging and seemingly unbearable at times. Life, real life, not the one that is sugar-coated and the world, the real world, where everything is present, good or bad, is the best classroom and lesson we can ever have.

Anarchy

It’s only been a few months since we heralded the dawn of the P-Noy era. I still remember the cheers of relief, the smiles of a newly born faith and the hope in the sighs of the entire nation. The country was once again united, the power of the people demonstrated before the very eyes of the entire world. The people have given their hopes and dreams of a better life to yet another leader. Our handpicked leaders are present together with the government to guide us to a third world’s Promised land, a land where poverty is of no existence, where everyone is happy and no one ever goes hungry. We are the sheep to our chosen shepherds. But it seems that parts of the country is again sinking to the ever persistent waters of forgetfulness and ningas kugon that has always dragged us down as we try to stand up from our current state.

Aside from the multitude of people that are masters to unwanted opinions and criticisms, we also witness those that openly (but in a subtle way) go against the government from simple rallies to threats of civil disobedience. Dictatorship may not be present in the government anymore since we are alreday run by a democratic one but I think that dictatorial attitude can be clearly seen lingering among the people that are under the government. Demands are voiced out in a multitude of ways ranging from the placards of rally goers to the press conferences held by the elite. It’s true that the president said that he is treating his people like his boss but I think that what some people are doing is overkill and very abusive, stretching this statement of the president far too much. How can we expect the government to function well if it has to answer to a myriad of pleas, a multitude of people with different demands?

It’s only been a few months after these people took the wheel and here we are already grumble about their driving. The streets are littered with rallies here and there protesting the lack of funds for their school, the approval of a certain law, for a certain right to be upheld, justice for a crime committed and more. One might not be observant enough to see it but the country is again facing an obstacle that hinders us from pulling ourselves back up from the state that we are in, an overload in complains and demands, the whining of a million babies each expecting to be attended to immediately.

Another crisis that burdens us as an entire nation is the number of leaders we have in our country. We need only to switch our channels to one that shows the news for us to see some person boldly speaking in front of a camera, in front of his entire nation about how a certain something was supposed to be done in a certain way or how the government should have done this instead of doing that. In a third world country, we are abundant with leaders that want to lead but refuse to follow. Aspirants that think highly of themselves, listening only to their own judgment and reasoning, their heads held high with pride, obviously not keeping in mind the old saying that the higher the pride, the higher the fall.

In our third world country where unity is of value and time is of the essence, we fail to be unanimous but we are very much successful in disobeying the government, being “better” and “knowing more” than our elected leaders and in the repetitive yet inevitable end, we will yet again be very successful in dragging the entire nation down with our very consistent attitude.

Maybe the recent elections weren’t as successful as most of us thought. We are trying to lead the same people that we have elected. We misuse our power as a people, our freedom of speech to intimidate and influence the actions of the people we handpicked ourselves to lead us. The flock of sheep is trying to subdue the shepherd.

Strength In Numbers

With the dawning of a new era, the entire nation’s hope is again uplifted that maybe, maybe we can start collecting ourselves up from the slump we call poverty and start crawling towards a better life here in the Philippines. The entire nation breathed its sigh of relief and even cheered during the completion of last May’s election as the country was turned over to a whole new administration. Now, the new administration is thrust under the spotlight like a performer, cornered by a hungry nation as its audience. Almost everyone is unmoving as the majority expects our newly elected leaders to conjure a solution, a trick that will instantly make poverty disappear. Then, when our elected leaders fail satisfy the pleas of our country, words of disappointment are hurled at them like gunfire in a battlefield.

The discontents many of us voice out are often valid as we seek better lives for ourselves and our loved ones. The new administration is bombarded with expectations, favors and pleas from a slowly dying country. I cannot blame the people for demanding so much after all everyone has been through. The people who demand and expect so much from the administration are just most of us that dream of a better life. Who doesn’t want to live a better life after all? To add to that, the line “Kung Walang Corrupt, Walang Mahirap” (No corruption, no poor) of then campaigning NoyNoy Aquino highly enticed the masses and triggered their craving to at least eat thrice a day, which I believe is far from being too ambitious. We see how we are slowly being suffocated by poverty and we turn to our newly elected leaders, giving them the responsibility of taking care of our well-being, our survival. But what most of us does not see is that we are asking them to feed us, thousands and thousands of people with only five loaves of bread and two fishes. A feat that is impossible for any man.

They say that two heads are better than one, well, the Philippines is known throughout the world as the motherland of millions of millions of people and yet we are poverty stricken. They say that there is strength in numbers and yet our country treats over population as one of our numerous problems. It’s just intriguing how millions and millions of people, well most of them, can burden a society so much. What’s more fascinating is the fact that they do not see how they burden themselves and instead, blame it solely on the people leading them. But the most surprising thing of all is the fact that among all these people only a handful realize that the fate of the nation, the betterment of their lives lies not only the hands of the government but in their own hands as well.

We are the masters of our own fate, we make our own destiny. The government is present only to guide us as we trek our journey towards our goal. The most they can do for us is to eliminate the obstacle of corruption, not manipulate our lives towards what we desire the most. If we want something, we have to take it. In the end it all boils down to how badly we want something. Based on what I see, it seems to me that our countrymen don’t want a better life after all. In a doggy dog world, those who are merely waiting for a better life, a stroke of luck, are only really waiting for their ignorance to take its toll on them.

We are asking them to perform for us a grand miracle, a deed they are obliged to do upon being chosen to lead even though their failure is inevitable. We sit around pondering about how the new administration should be working towards our goal of a poverty free country where everyone is satisfied. Some of us hurl our disappointment at them, boldly using our freedom of speech but failing to use our common sense. I do not understand how Filipinos can sit around and complain when there is a lot to do to rebuild and stabilize our already crumbling country. We do not see how each of us can make an impact in our society if we only try hard enough. If we fail to realize this, we will forever be a country full of hopes, dreams and nothing more.

Believe

Most people would say and even argue that lying is the best scapegoat anyone can ever have. Lying on several occasions to save myself from unwanted conflicts, I couldn’t help but agree more. Lying is like a drug, it’s a quick solution, an escape, from our problems. If one is a good enough liar, it’s possible for that individual to get away with anything. But like a drug, lying has its undesirable side effects. The effects of lying will leave us out of balance, challenging not only our consciences but our mental stability as well.

 When we lie, we create a story that is far from or even the exact opposite of the truth and in a way, we are forced to believe it as well because we need to be convincing when we say it to others.  The more we lie, the more we are caught up in the world we make, often times losing ourselves as we convince others to believe our little story.  In a nutshell, the more often we lie and the longer we stick to our lies, I believe that at some point, if we are not wary, our lies may just replace our reality. We first convince ourselves to believe the lie before we convince others of the same thing. And because often times, people ask us to repeat our hand-made truth for their hearing pleasure, our thinking becomes accustomed and even comfortable with living with our stories. We may not notice it or neglect it but some way, somehow when we are living deep enough in our own lie, we struggle to separate what is the truth and what is not. To make things more challenging for us, we have the opinions of other people, people we have convinced to believe our lie that adds to the burden we already shoulder. The people concerned will usually throw in their unwanted opinions which thrust us deeper into believing our lie as we are forced to listen to them, their words that are based from our scapegoat, knowing that if we are to argue, we will be forced to give up our lie as well.

When we lie, we often think that we place the reality in the palm of our hands, manipulating it as we wish and making others see what we want them to see. We’d often feel relaxed if not proud after lying spares us from a close call. But come to think of it, there are a lot of ways how lying yes, serves its purpose of manipulating others, but, also manipulating us, the user in more ways than one. We need only to open the pages of our imagination. Lying is an attack on reality that has recoil.

Mendoza: The Story Behind The Story

The ghost of the Quirino Grandstand Hostage taking still haunts the entire Filipino community; everyone is still in a state of shock and disbelief over what unfolded before the entire world last Monday. Accusations, criticisms and a handful of unwanted opinions are thrown everywhere as everyone is thrust in a state of pandemonium. I am gravely disappointed not only by the entire tragedy but also by how shallowly people are looking at it. Yes, the media and the police force are partly to blame and yes, of course, the hostage taker is at fault but I think that it’s unreasonable to blame it solely on them. Individuals reflect what kind of society they live in. Last Monday was the grand unveiling of our society’s image and the whole world stood still, forced to watch as our audience. Wouldn’t it be rash and unjust to think that the hostage taking done was just for kicks? According to The Philippine Star, over a hundred people turned up last Sunday to bury former senior inspector Rolando Mendoza who took with him his story of hero turned villain as he was laid to rest. According to the reporters of the newspaper, a vast number of people from Mendoza’s community, many of whom are his friends took part in taking Mendoza to his final resting place because they believed that Mendoza was a good man pressured only because of the periled well-being of his family. According to the media, Rolando Mendoza’s frustration began when he was left jobless, removed from his job for a reason, that to him, was insufficient. His patience was further strained when his appeal letters were continuously neglected by the authorities he was seeking help from. Being unemployed in a poverty stricken land with a family to support were conditions that just weren’t acceptable to him.  And thus, with the patience of a normal man finally pushed to the limits and shattered by the realization of the possibility of his family’s starvation and his apathetic society, the Quirino Grandstand Hostage taking was born and the heart of a hero was stained. Mendoza was indeed guilty for putting innocent lives in danger but can we really blame him for wanting security and better life for his family?  Can each and every one of us really say that we wouldn’t do the same thing if we are put under the same circumstances?  It was a deed done by a desperate person living in desperate times. The recent tragedy showed a lot of things to a lot of people. To me, it showed how a disoriented society affected a man and how that disoriented man affected his society.